Pai Mei and Workouts

I was just watching Kill Bill for the 300th time. My favorite part is Cruel tutelage of Pai Mei. In those scenes, he constantly makes Kiddo do the same exercises again and again and again. The wooden block punching; The water buckets on stairs! The rice eating scene is particularly interesting. She gives up and tries to eat with hand as hunger trumps will power. And then he reminds her she is not a dog.

And I was trying to understand if these were more of will power building exercises rather than the actual skill of punching through the wooden blocks or Kung Fu in general. What if the tutelage is not so much about learning new skills but hardening of the soul, never taking pity on yourself and gaining more will power. An equivalent analogy will be a runner trying to take up running and "build up" to 5k or 10k. One builds stamina and body gets used to it AFTER the mind does.

I see myself applying same fundamental in the gym where I gasp for breath in last few seconds of a rep of conditioning drill. Or where I see myself trying to avoid putting that extra 5 lbs on the barbell. That extra reserve of will power is the difference between us on daily basis and it trumps over one having a natural ability to do more than others. I feel the actual ability is not something you can fully utilize until you have found out your limit of will power, that too on daily basis. Everyday is a new fight

Snobs and evolution

Half of the people I meet during my average week turn out to be bloody snobs. The funny part is they exhibit no unique characteristic whatsoever that entitles or naturally makes them to do so, for e.g. the royals or monarchs. Morning greetings are rare and greetings with smiles are even rarer. Genuine extroverts who once approached you with no hidden malice or agenda are a become extinct. Conversations have been replaced by scrolling text on the dumb smartphones. Facebook likes and pokes amount to the new eye contact. Libraries are modern day dust bowls. Town's social events are loosing attendance in large hoards to TV media who are feeding ever repeating shows and news. Today, we start off by disliking someone and work our way towards liking. When did life become so difficult? Or is it the new fabric of our nature as a species?

And how does one make friends anymore? By joining hallow clubs or meetups void of fun activities or joining those clubs whose only engrossing activity ends up being a drinking orgy around obscure bars? Or by sharing interests that do no carry any weight in living well today, with people we meet randomly.

The sad part is that it is becoming harder for me to stay out of this herd of new species. I feel at times that I spend a lot of my timing fighting this natural evolution and that people like me will be, as Darwin would say "...weeded out".

Slavery

We just watched 12 years a slave - the movie.

I am pretty sure the script would have been so powerful that all actors naturally spilled their guts and gave their best performances to date. Chewetal! I mean no words.

As I sat watching it in the theater I just could not help thinking that we have it way to easy today. Even though modern day slavery exists, the time of slavery in US, slave trade and early uprooting of native Africans from their homelands, shows how immature and young a species we are. Yes we have evolved in many ways but not in the way we should treat each other. I see racism as a form of slavery too. We are a slave to our own inner evils towards each other and sheer lack of will to learn even the first letter of the word "equality".

How can one human treat another like this? And how can one human endure so much pain? I cannot even begin to fathom the hate, the belittling acts, the inhuman suffering both that of the slave and master. Yes we are have left that behind us now, in its purest and most ruthless form. But in say 2000 years of known history, we have made progress from barbarism and slavery to killing each other for racial or communal motivations. Not a real progress I would day. And then there are those who ask why don't aliens reveal themselves to us. Why would they? As a sentient and intelligent beings, We are at mere year 2 or 3 of age. We are still learning yes, but at what cost.

Prayer for three souls...

http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/04/us/new-york-crash-baby/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

Enraged at this news. It stinks of a hit and run with DUI or a total disregard for traffic rules. Both kill and look how they kill!

I don't know what to say here. I am sad for all three souls. I feel if I just took some time off today and went to a quite corner, closed my eyes and prayed for peace to the souls not just these but all who leave us like this, justice to their untimely leaving and fragility of life, I will become a tad bit better as a person. I would have connected with the "better" version of myself. 

That's how I believe we are connected to these souls we do not know, i.e through our prayers.

Wolves in the house...

Wolves by Phosphorescent

I came across this song when I was watching movie Margin Call.

Beautiful sad song and lyrics.

It can be interpreted many ways, like feelings for someone turned south, a person talking about politicians, a woman having an intense period etc.

But after listening to this so many times, I can deduce only one meaning. Wolves are analogous with vices and “house” is analogous with the "mind". I want to say mind and not body. These wolves or vices tear us apart inside out. Make holes in the walls, floor and stones of our soul which started out as a beautiful clean entity and then gets tainted by our weaknesses and mistakes which are nothing but clawing and attacks of these wolves. Yes we know they are there and they affect us and we try to “put them out”, but we still keep getting draw to them, like greed, lust, gluttony. They are strong and sometimes one is more prominent in us than others. Sometimes they seem to be our characteristics and we showboat with those to the outside world. But they hurt us slowly inside out, gnawing at our inner. They “mate” at night when we are our most vulnerable. The vices grow inside when our minds are empty, our hands are not employed in some work, when we have nothing else to do but stare at the ceiling lying down. We are prisoned and surrounded by them. 

We appeal to “mama” who I believe can be thought of in 2 ways. First one is our mother, who is birth giver, our better parent, the most caring person in the world to us and to the most of us is the most pious “something” only second to God in our minds and life. Second is nothing but the “good” in us. The good house which doesn't have wolves but flowers and inner peace. In both cases, we know someone (mama) or something (inner conscience) knows the better us, tells us that we are much better than being in a position to be hurt from the wolves. We know what needs to be done and yet we wait for them to go away on their own and until they “make nice”…which of course never happens….never because we keep making the same mistakes again and again and again.

3+ Week Vacation in India

OK so I was looking forward to the 3+ weeks in India as a time off from my routine life here in US. It started off with a 3 day trip to Jaipur for my father in laws post funeral service. The mood was somber but I was glad to see everyone at least giving a hint that things are moving on.

And then things went downhill from there. Dad got sick and was in ICU for enlarged prostate. Spent a whole day getting him through tests and paperwork to get him admitted. He recovered quickly after they catheterized him. And then off and on, days were spent in hospital OPDs. Not to mention his behavior as a patient which were were left wanting. 

Then a few days were spent decompressing with cousins, a marriage and shopping for that marriage. The days around the marriage were fun. Had a lot of laughs and giggles. Apparently I rediscovered my silly side where I couldn't stop making people laugh; a contrast to first half of the days were spent in hospitals. It was a good exercise and use case in that how important it is to decompress with booze less crazy stupid silly stuff  when you are stressed with breakneck pace work and family matters. Just go out at a chill but inexpensive place, happening but not crowded joint or a gathering of close but not many friends and smile a bite, poke a bit of fun at yourself and others and in the process shed the skin of stress and wear and tear of the past week and move on for a fresh one. That's what life is; a day at a time, a week at a time, month by month and year over year.

Thoughts on Sandy Hook Tragedy

Learned today that 20 odd kids and 7 adults have been shot in a school in Connecticut.

My thoughts and prayers are with the victims. But a part of me is also leaning towards the human being who committed this unimaginable act. What promoted his mental state in such a dark corner that all he felt was a rage towards these little souls, a rage that cannot be reasoned with, a rage that cannot be pacified, a rage that is so frightful that it erodes away any last shed of humanity left in the person.

I will be closely following the case of the man and try to get into his mind. The mind of a killer. I will not be surprised to find out if he was sick, felt rejected, felt alone, considered his life to be of little consequence or meaning and hence in the process was jealous of all those who seem happy and contented in contrast to his own life. But there has to be more. 

And as I have followed previous cases viz. the Columbine, Virginia Tech, the Aurora and Oak Creek,, the abridgment of my findings and thought is shaping up to be around the nature of our society today. All these tragedies and the individuals involved in culminating them are all but symptoms of the way our society is today. If their little problems that can be solved by society that includes family, friends and just well wishers compound into personality disorders, chronic insecurity and what not. Society; a lonesome, unforgiving, intolerant, panicky, angry and discontent entity which we all comprise of and hence are molded out of.